


Run to You

by assembledorotherwise



Category: CSI: Crime Scene Investigation
Genre: Gen, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-08
Updated: 2017-07-08
Packaged: 2018-12-21 11:14:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11942991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/assembledorotherwise/pseuds/assembledorotherwise
Summary: Sara does her best to cope with her and Grissom's divorce, but her feelings eventually catch up with her.





	Run to You

**Author's Note:**

> I was thinking about this song, Run to You by Lacey Sturm, and realized that it perfectly describes how Sara felt after Grissom divorced her. Sit back and enjoy this angst-ridden beauty!

_You tell me I'm the one holding you back_

_And something about how far we're off track_  

 _"I'ts for your own good."_ Sara could still hear Grissom's words ringing in her head, threatening to overtake her. In that moment, she had wanted to believe those words, because she trusted the man who spoke them with all of her heart. But the more sensible part of her thought bitterly, _No, it's for_ your _own good._ Over the last few months, Sara had felt their relationship slipping. She tried to stay optimistic, to do her part, but it wasn't enough.

_But all I hear is your heart beat loud and strong_

_And I just want to wrap you in my arms_

His work slowly but surely became more important than her. It was so gradual she barely felt it. But as a CSI, it was her job to notice the things everyone else missed. And everyone else seemed to miss the couple's growing distance. Sara held onto the fragile threads holding them together with all of her might, but deep down knew she was just setting herself up for even more heartache in the future.

 _But I'll let you go, if that's what you want_  
_But I hope you know my love won't stop_

If this was what made Gil happy, then so be it. So Sara eventually acquiesced to the inevitable. When he asked for a divorce, she agreed. She wanted to cry at the very mention of those accursed legal documents, but she held it together. Barely. 

 _You say it's not true, and you call me a fool  
But call out my name, I'll run to you_  

Sara was tired of believing; tired of her stupid hope that one day Grissom would call her up and apologize, because she knew that no matter what he put her through, she would still love him.

 _I know you, I know your eyes so well_  
And I know you're not sure of yourself

In her heart of hearts, Sara worried about him. He had always seemed like a bit of a lost soul until they were together. _He managed before, so he'll be fine_ , she reasoned. What enen made her think he wouldn't be fine?

_But something made you restless years ago  
'Til you forgot that I'm part of your soul_

Sara knew that a piece of her left with Grissom. She just hoped he knew it too. _Just always remember me, okay? Please?_

 _But I'll let you go, if that's what you want_  
_But I hope you know my love won't stop_

Sara couldn't count the number of times she had pulled out her phone with the intention of calling or texting him, something small, insignificant, in hopes that he would get the hint that she missed him. But she never did. She would sigh, turn off her phone, and return it to her purse, or pocket, or counter, or wherever it had been, and would be overcome with a wave of cowardice-induced guilt.

 _You say it's not true, and you call me a fool_  
_But call out my name, I'll run to you_

It was the same process every single time. Nothing ever changed about it. And any way it happened, there was always the guilt.

 _I've always believed in you_  
_You used to believe in me too_

Oh, the guilt. The guilt squeezed Sara's heart with its cold, iron grasp, and she had yet to find a way to keep the feeling at bay. She wanted it to stop, but at the same held onto it with all her might, in the fear that she would forget. 

 _Remember the day that you turned away_  
_It killed me to lose you_  
_It killed me to lose you_

But really, she knew she could never truly forget. And that thought in and of itself broke her heart all over again. The poor woman just wanted to be _okay_. She wanted to go to work and not have Morgan give her pitying looks, have Greg ask her if anything was wrong, and have Nick try to cheer her up. None of them knew the truth yet, bgut Sara knew that once they found out, they would hate her.

 _But I'll let you go, if that's what you want_  
_But I hope you know my love won't stop_

The CSIs had practically worshipped Grissom while he was there, and any way you put it, Sara looked like the villain. She had no one to talk about it to. No friends, and just a mother with enough problems of her own. Those thoughts just made her pick up her phone, pull up Grissom's contact, thumb hovering over the _call_ button, before returning it forcefully to it's resting place. A stray tear slipped down her cheek. She never let herself cry even a single tear, because then it wouldn't stop. 

 _You say it's not true, and you call me a fool_  
_But call out my name, I'll run to you_

Another tear slipped out, then another, and another. And before she knew it, she was sobbing in her kitchen, makeup running, tears pooling on her blouse. She walked to their— _her_ —bedroom and flung herself pathetically on top of the comforter, which in this moment was not being all too comforting. She didn't even bother changing, or even eating dinner. She just layed on the bed and cried.

 _I'll run to you, I'll run to you_  
_I've always believed in you_  

She was exhausted on an emotional level she had never achieved before that moment. She didn't even know it was possible that her shattered heart could be broken any futher, but here she was, living proof. That's what it was: she believed in Grissom too much. She held onto her petty hope that he would even pick up if she called. What reason did have to?

 _I'll run to you, I'll run to you_  
_And 'cause I love you_  
_I'll let you go_  
_If that's what you want_  
_But I hope you know_  
_My love won't stop_  

These thoughts played on a continual repeat, until finally, Sara difted off into an uneasy sleep, tears still falling from her eyes long after the night took her into its depths.


End file.
